Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Foreign.
[00:00:07] Welcome back to Unshuck Yourself, powered by the Corpus Christi Originals podcast network.
[00:00:14] This is your host, Ben De Leon.
[00:00:16] I know it's been a while since the last episode, but there's a reason for the delay.
[00:00:22] And though originally I wasn't going to, I think it's time I talk about it.
[00:00:28] Today's episode is different.
[00:00:31] On 28th January, my mother passed.
[00:00:36] And before you tense up and think this is going to be a heavy, sorrow filled episode, it's not because this isn't about loss.
[00:00:46] It's about life.
[00:00:48] And more specifically, how we choose to remember that life.
[00:00:54] When someone dies, we tend to default to sadness.
[00:00:58] We lower our voices, we dim the lights.
[00:01:02] We treat the moment like something fragile.
[00:01:05] But here's the truth.
[00:01:07] A life that mattered deserves to be celebrated, not reduced to the way it ended.
[00:01:14] My mother, Mary Alice De Leon, lived a life that mattered.
[00:01:19] Not because she was famous, not because she built an empire, not because she made headlines, but because she showed up.
[00:01:30] And if you listen to the show for any amount of time, you already know showing up is everything.
[00:01:37] My mom wasn't loud.
[00:01:39] She wasn't flashy.
[00:01:41] She didn't need attention to feel significant.
[00:01:45] She was steady. And I've come to realize something as I've gotten older.
[00:01:50] Steady is rare.
[00:01:53] Steady is powerful.
[00:01:55] Steady changes lives in ways drama never could.
[00:02:00] She loved through action, through consistency, through doing what needed to be done.
[00:02:07] Even when it wasn't glamorous, even when it was exhausting, even when no one noticed.
[00:02:15] Especially when no one noticed.
[00:02:18] And that's the kind of strength we overlook.
[00:02:22] We celebrate loud strength.
[00:02:24] We celebrate dominant strength.
[00:02:27] We celebrate visible strength.
[00:02:29] But quiet strength.
[00:02:32] Quiet strength builds families.
[00:02:35] Quiet strength holds people together.
[00:02:38] Quiet strength carries weight no one else sees.
[00:02:42] That was my mom growing up. I didn't always see it.
[00:02:48] Kids usually don't.
[00:02:51] You don't recognize sacrifice in real time.
[00:02:54] You experience the benefit of it. It's only later, when you start carrying your own responsibilities, your own stress, your own burdens, that you look back and think, oh, dang, that wasn't easy.
[00:03:08] That took resilience.
[00:03:11] That was love.
[00:03:14] And here's a lesson that's been sitting with me.
[00:03:18] Love isn't loud.
[00:03:20] It's durable.
[00:03:21] It's consistency over intensity.
[00:03:25] It's choosing someone again and again, even on days when it would be easier not to.
[00:03:32] My mom had her quirks.
[00:03:34] She had her opinions.
[00:03:36] Sometimes really, really strong opinions.
[00:03:40] She had that look, you know, the one that mothers have where she didn't have to say a word. Yet somehow you knew exactly what she was thinking.
[00:03:50] That look shaped my moral compass more than lectures ever could.
[00:03:55] And here's what's powerful about that.
[00:03:59] Looking around, she left fingerprints everywhere.
[00:04:05] In conversations, in habits, in the way I respond to people, in the way I show up for my own family.
[00:04:15] See, that's legacy.
[00:04:17] Not monuments, not money.
[00:04:20] It's impact.
[00:04:24] When someone passes, people always say, I'm sorry for your loss.
[00:04:28] And I understand the sentiment.
[00:04:31] But here's the honest truth.
[00:04:33] I don't just feel loss.
[00:04:37] I feel gratitude.
[00:04:40] Gratitude that I had her as long as I did.
[00:04:45] Gratitude that I was shaped by her steadiness.
[00:04:49] Gratitude that I got to witness what real commitment looks like.
[00:04:53] Because a meaningful life isn't built by avoiding hardship.
[00:04:57] It's built by choosing love anyway.
[00:05:01] And she chose love even when she was tired, even when life didn't cooperate, even when things weren't perfect.
[00:05:11] And if you're listening right now, here's where this turns towards you.
[00:05:15] Because it has to.
[00:05:17] That's what this show is about.
[00:05:20] Life is fragile. We know that intellectually.
[00:05:24] But we don't live like we know it.
[00:05:27] We postpone conversations. We delay forgiveness.
[00:05:32] We assume we'll have more time.
[00:05:35] My mom's passing reminded me of something I said on this podcast before.
[00:05:40] Tomorrow is a privilege, not a guarantee.
[00:05:44] So if you're listening to this, ask yourself, who do I need to call?
[00:05:50] Who do I need to forgive?
[00:05:53] Who do I need to appreciate out loud while they can still hear it?
[00:05:57] Don't wait for a memorial to say what matters.
[00:06:01] There are going to be moments ahead where I instinctively think I should call Mom.
[00:06:07] There will be holidays that feel different, ordinary Tuesdays that hit unexpectedly.
[00:06:13] But I don't believe those moments are there to break us.
[00:06:16] They're reminders.
[00:06:19] Reminders that love doesn't disappear.
[00:06:22] It transforms.
[00:06:24] We carry people forward in how we live.
[00:06:28] So if I want to honor my mother, I don't do it by staying stuck in grief.
[00:06:33] I do it by being steady, by being consistent, by loving my family the way she loved hers.
[00:06:41] That's how legacy works.
[00:06:44] And here's the deeper unshuck yourself moment of all of this.
[00:06:48] We spend so much time chasing big wins, big moments, big recognition.
[00:06:55] But the people who matter most in our lives, they usually built their impact in small daily decisions.
[00:07:03] Patience over anger, Commitment over convenience.
[00:07:08] Showing up instead of checking out.
[00:07:11] That's mastery.
[00:07:13] Not flashy mastery.
[00:07:16] Human mastery.
[00:07:18] And if there's one way to celebrate a life well lived, it's this.
[00:07:23] Live yours well.
[00:07:25] Don't waste it.
[00:07:27] Don't drift through it.
[00:07:29] Don't postpone it.
[00:07:31] Love hard, forgive quickly.
[00:07:35] Show up consistently.
[00:07:39] Be steady.
[00:07:42] To my mom.
[00:07:44] Thank you for the quiet strength, for the consistency, for the lessons you didn't even realize you were teaching.
[00:07:56] You mattered, and you still do.
[00:08:04] I love you.
[00:08:05] I'll miss you.
[00:08:08] And you'll never, ever be forgotten.
[00:08:15] If this episode hit home for you, don't just nod and move on. Take action.
[00:08:21] Call someone, hug someone, say the thing.
[00:08:28] That's how we honor the people who shaped us.
[00:08:32] Not with silence, with living.
[00:08:38] This has been Unshock yourself.
[00:08:40] And today we remember, we celebrate, and we appreciate a life that mattered.
[00:08:49] So go live yours until next time.
