Episode Transcript
[00:00:03] Speaker A: Liftoff of Mission 41D, the first flight of the earthquake Discovery and the shuttle has cleared the tower.
Computers now have primary control of critical vehicle functions.
[00:00:28] Speaker B: Welcome back to Unshuck Yourself, powered by the Corpus Christi Originals podcast network.
I'm your host, Ben De Leon.
I want to start today with a question.
Would you rather be right, or would you rather get the result you're actually hoping for?
At first, that might sound like a strange question.
Most of us would answer both.
But life has a funny way of forcing us to choose.
You can win the argument and lose the friendship.
You can prove your point and lose the opportunity.
You can have all the facts on your side and still fail to change a single mind.
Because here's something I've learned.
Being right and being effective aren't always the same thing.
And if your goal is to make a difference, sometimes the better question isn't how do I prove I'm right?
It's how do I move the situation in the right direction?
Let's be honest. Being right feels good. There's something satisfying about hearing someone say, you were right.
It validates us. It confirms our thinking. It strokes our ego.
Our brains actually reward us for being correct.
But here's where it becomes dangerous.
When being right becomes part of our identity. We stop listening.
We stop asking questions.
We stop learning.
Because every disagreement starts to feel like a threat instead of an opportunity.
Suddenly, we're not trying to solve the problem anymore. We're trying to protect our pride.
And pride has a way of making very intelligent people do very foolish things.
Before every difficult conversation, whether it's with your spouse, your child, your boss, or a stranger on the Internet, ask yourself one question.
What outcome am I actually trying to create?
Think about that.
If you're arguing with your spouse, is your goal to prove they remembered something incorrectly? Or is your goal to strengthen your relationship?
If your teenager makes a mistake, is your goal to remind them who's in charge or to teach them something they'll carry into adulthood?
If you're leading a team at work, is your goal to show everyone you're the smartest person in the room or to help the team succeed?
Because that one question changes everything.
Because once you know your goal, your words begin to change.
The most influential people I've met are not obsessed with winning debates.
They're obsessed with solving problems.
They ask questions. They listen. They stay curious.
They make people feel heard.
Have you ever noticed that when people feel respected, they become far more willing to consider your perspective?
Respect lowers defenses.
Humiliation raises them.
You can force someone to admit you're right. But you can't force them to believe you.
Real influence isn't about overpowering people. It's about helping them discover something for themselves.
Sometimes the strongest sentence you can say is, help me understand how you see it.
Not because you've surrendered your beliefs, but because you've opened the door to a conversation instead of a competition.
We've all seen it. Someone wins every argument, but no one wants to talk to them anymore. Someone is technically correct, but impossible to work with.
Someone always gets the last word and somehow ends up alone.
There are victories that cost for far more than what they're worth.
You can win an argument and lose trust.
You can win a debate and lose credibility.
You can win a disagreement and lose a customer.
You can win every battle, still lose the war.
Ask yourself, what did you actually win? Because if proving your point destroys your influence, you didn't really win. You just got the last word.
Now, let me be clear. This episode is insane. Truth doesn't. It doesn't matter.
Of course it does.
There are moments when you must stand your ground, when safety is on the line, when someone's being mistreated, when your integrity is being tested, when a decision could seriously harm people. Those aren't moments to stay silent, just to keep peace.
Sometimes courage means speaking up, even when it's uncomfortable.
But even then, how you deliver the truth matters.
You can be firm without being cruel, confident without being combative.
Truth and kindness are not enemies. In fact, they're often strongest when they travel together.
So this week, I want you to try something.
The next time you disagree with someone, pause before you speak. Ask yourself three questions.
Am I trying to solve a problem or win a contest?
Will my next sentence bring us closer together or push us farther apart?
And finally, if I exactly get what my ego wants, will I also get what my heart actually needs?
You might be surprised how often those answers are different.
I'll leave you with this.
People rarely remember who won the argument.
They remember how you made them feel while you were having it.
Your ego wants the last word. Your purpose wants the best outcome.
Don't let your need to be right become bigger than your desire to make things better.
Because the people who change the world aren't always the loudest.
They aren't always the ones who win every debate. They're the ones who know when to speak, when to listen, and when to put the outcome ahead of their own pride.
So this week, don't ask yourself, how can I prove I'm right?
Ask yourself, how can I leave this conversation better than I found it.
That's where the real influence begins.
So until next time, keep growing, keep listening, and I'll see you on Unshock Yourself.
